12.17.2009

For Women to Better Understand Men

1. Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia has set in.


2. Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer.


3. Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't a problem.


4. Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu". For all I know, these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which feminine hygiene product is a euphemism. (F.Y.I. guys, cumin is a spice.)


5. Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.


6. Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).


7. Because I'm a man, there is not need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex, cars or football. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.


8. Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother, too.


9. Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.


10. Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine...can we just go now?


11. Because I'm a man, and this is after all the year 2009, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, the vacuuming and the dishes - and I'll do the rest.

10.13.2009

What's Really Going On...

There's a lot going on in all areas of my life so I wanted to share...

At home - we are moving furniture around & getting settled into the new house. I talked my son into letting me have the master bedroom that he'd already claimed, so that I can setup an office space to do projects from home. It's going to take a little time but we'll get there.

At work - the web site has been live for a hot minute & I'm working about 20-25 hours a week & doing some side work from home. Right now I'm focused mainly on building fresh content around the products and blogging each week.

I recently ran across a post by Matt Woodward about Posterous.com & I've played around with it a little but nothing major. Still working on building my own site to showcase skills, projects, etc.

9.10.2009

Smashing Downloads

I love to find nice looking templates since I'm not much in the way of a graphic designer - so I wanted to share it with you... Smashing Downloads has posted 20 Useful Resources to Download Free Website Templates

9.02.2009

PHP, Facebook & Other various animals

The new site is up & running and I'm doing my best to redirect old CF based site traffic to the new PHP. It's only been 10 years since I've touched a redirect file - and 2 years since I've done any web dev. And my brain has been fried for the most part since 2004. So I suppose you could say I'm not having a good time at this point...


I've become addicted to Facebook! It's the first & last thing I do online each day at this point...anyone know where I can find a meeting? ;-) LMAO


Okay, all BS aside...I need some help rewriting the .htaccess file and any SEO tips for keeping our rankings before the bottom falls out. The new site generates HTML files for every category, sub-cat and product so I think our rank will jump at some point. But for now I want to keep us afloat with as little damage possible.

8.11.2009

Naming Conventions and Other Various Animals

I've had to do various small tasks here lately to get the new web site up & running - and since we changed platforms completely there was a lot transferring I ran across some cool utilities & thought I'd share...


Exporting from SQL to CSV
The old database was SQL 2000 and the new has the option of importing CSV files, so instead of writing the SQL to transfer from old to new I found a handy program on Download.com called MS SQL Data Wizard. It was very easy to use with only a small amount of code to write so that I could generate a separate CSV for each product category. Kudos to the folks at SQL Maestro for a program that's easy to work with & very powerful.


Renaming Images to All Lowercase
Right now I'm trying to find a program to convert about 5-10,000 images to all lowercase file names. I know that Photoshop will do this but I'm pretty rusty - guess I might have to go dig thru help files at Adobe...

8.10.2009

More hours in the day please

I've just launched a new version of the web site for the company I work for & everything is new and exciting - on the flip side, everyone is freaking out because we also moved to a new hosting company. Live & learn I suppose but I think (hope) I've learned my lesson on doing both tasks at the same time.


There are SO many things I would love to do, new things I want to learn and so LITTLE time!


Definitely time to get a priority list together for work & home...


I'm horrible at managing time & this weekend was no exception (understatement). I did manage to make a little time for just hanging out with a friend & going to see a movie. We watched Julie & Julia - and I have to admit it's not something I would have probably chosen but I really enjoyed it a LOT more than I thought I would have. Actually I laughed my ass off but I don't want to spoil it for anyone.

5.29.2009

Seven Percent

Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio


"To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written.


My odometer rolled over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:


1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.


2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.


3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone...


4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.


5. Pay off your credit cards every month.


6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.


7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.


8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.


9. Save for retirement starting with your first pay cheque.


10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.


11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.


12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.


13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.


14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.


15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.


16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.


17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.


18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.


19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.


20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.


21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion, today is special.


22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.


23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.


24. The most important sex organ is the brain.


25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.


26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'


27. Always choose life.


28. Forgive everyone everything.


29. What other people think of you is none of your business.


30. Time heals almost everything. Give time.


31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.


32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.


33. Believe in miracles.


34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.


35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.


36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.


37. Your children get only one childhood.


38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.


39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.


40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.


41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.


42. The best is yet to come.


43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.


44. Yield.


45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."


It’s estimated that 93% of people who receive this email won't forward it. If you are one of the 7% who will, forward this with the title '7%'. I'm in the 7%. Remember, friends are the family we choose for ourselves.

5.28.2009

Goodbye Catalog, Hello DVD

The company I've worked for off & on since 2002 stopped publishing a printed catalog for customers a couple years ago so we recently decided to produce a DVD for customers that do not have a computer and/or access to the Internet.


Since this is completely new to us we've tried to keep it simple & see how it goes by creating a Powerpoint Presentation then converting it to ISO to burn the DVDs using Wondershare PPT2DVD. Then to get the video on the web I've been using AuthorStream - pretty kewl site - it converts the Powerpoint file to MPEG & hosts the file for playing (kinda like YouTube) and provides the embed code if you want to display it on your web site.


So far, so good with getting it to a DVD but I'm about ready to pull my hair out with getting a good working copy on the web. I can get the video but when I do the conversion the audio is gone (I've tried using AuthorStream, PPT2DVD, & authorPoint Lite). From what I've read the sound file has to be embedded instead of linked but convincing Powerpoint 2007 to embed the file is beyond me.


Anyone have ANY experience with any of this? If so, I could use some feedback, suggestions or a bullet if I don't get this resolved soon!

5.22.2009

Teachers vs. Educators

Lipstick in School


According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the Bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back . Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.


She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).


To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.


Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.


There are teachers... and then... there are educators.

5.21.2009

Secret Window

I've been reading Secret Window, Secret Garden by Stephen King so thought I'd see if anyone else has read it. I must admit it's got me in a strange place mentally - but that probably isn't anything new to get honest. LOL Secret Window, Secret Garden

4.28.2009

Quote

I've been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
- Mark Twain

4.27.2009

Potential

Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up.

John Grisham Majored in Accounting

Okay, so I'm a little behind on most things these days but did you know that John Grisham majored in Accounting at Mississippi State? And he was born in Jonesboro, Arkansas?!

Read more about John Grisham...

4.20.2009

The Hospital Window

A great note for all to read it will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking.

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.

She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

Epilogue:

There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

"Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present."

The origin of this letter is unknown, but it brings good luck to everyone who passes it on.

Do not keep this letter..

Just forward it to your friends to whom you wish blessings.

4.16.2009

Don't Judge a Book by its Cover

I would have embedded the video right here but the code to do so has been disabled on YouTube so you'll have to click the link Britain's Got Talent Baby! Check out Susan Boyle!

4.15.2009

Easter

Anyone else wonder where the whole Easter thing originated? I mean come on!!! I can comprehend that it's a celebration of the resurrection of Christ but we are having kids find eggs that were supposedly hidden by the Easter Bunny! WTF So after doing some reading on Wikipedia I thought I'd share... After a little reading & several hours of therapy I think I understand the majority of why most people celebrate Easter the way they do...

Free Hugs Campaign

Inspiring Story! Free Hugs Campaign (Music by Sick Puppies)

To Meet Such a Man

I sat, with two friends, in the picture window of a quaint restaurant just off the corner of the town-square. The food and the company were both especially good that day.

As we talked, my attention was drawn outside, across the street. There, walking into town, was a man who appeared to be carrying all his worldly goods on his back. He was carrying, a well-worn sign that read, 'I will work for food.' My heart sank.

I brought him to the attention of my friends and noticed that others around us had stopped eating to focus on him. Heads moved in a mixture of sadness and disbelief.

We continued with our meal, but his image lingered in my mind. We finished our meal and went our separate ways. I had errands to do and quickly set out to accomplish them. I glanced toward the town square, looking somewhat halfheartedly for the strange visitor. I was fearful, knowing that seeing him again would call some response. I drove through town and saw nothing of him. I made some purchases at a store and got back in my car.

Deep within me, the Spirit of God kept speaking to me: 'Don't go back to the office until you've at least driven once more around the square.'

Then with some hesitancy, I headed bac k into town. As I turned the square's third corner, I saw him. He was standing on the steps of the store front church, going through his sack.

I stopped and looked; feeling both compelled to speak to him, yet wanting to drive on. The empty parking space on the corner seemed to be a sign from God: an invitation to park. I pulled in, got out and approached the town's newest visitor.

'Looking for the pastor?' I asked.

'Not really,' he replied, 'just resting.'

'Have you eaten today?'

'Oh, I ate something early this morning.'

'Would you like to have lunch with me?'

'Do you have some work I could do for you?'

'No work,' I replied. 'I commute here to work from the city, but I would like to take you to lunch. '

'Sure,' he replied with a smile.

As he began to gather his things, I asked some surface questions. Where you headed?'

' St. Louis .'

'Where you from?'

'Oh, all over; mostly Florida .'

'How long you been walking?'

'Fourteen years,' came the reply.

I knew I had met someone unusual. We sat across from each other in the same restaurant I had left earlier. His face was weathered slightly beyond his 38 years. His eyes were dark yet clear, and he spoke with an eloquence and articulation that was startling. He removed his jacket to reveal a bright red T-shirt that said, 'Jesus is The Never Ending Story.'

Then Daniel's story began to unfold. He had seen rough times early in life. He 'd made some wrong choices and reaped the consequences. Fourteen years earlier, while backpacking across the country, he had stopped on the beach in Daytona. He tried to hire on with some men who were putting up a large tent and some equipment. A concert, he thought.

He was hired, but the tent would not house a concert but revival services, and in those services he saw life more clearly. He gave his life over to God.

'Nothing's been the same since,' he said, 'I felt the Lord telling me to keep walking, and so I did, some 14 years now.'

'Ever think of stopping?' I asked.

'Oh, once in a while, when it seems to get the best of me But God has given me this calling. I give out Bibles. That's what's in my sack. I work to buy food and Bibles, and I give them out when His Spirit leads.'

I sat amazed. My homeless friend was not homeless. He was on a mission and lived this way by choice. The question burned inside for a moment and then I asked: 'What's it like?'

'What?'

'To walk into a town carrying all your things on your back and to show your sign?'

'Oh, it was humiliating at first. People would stare and make comments. Once someone tossed a piece of half-eaten bread and made a gesture that certainly didn't make me feel welcome. But then it became humbling to realize that God was using me to touch lives and change people's concepts of other folks like me.'

My concept was changing, too. We finished our dessert and gathered his things. Just outside the door, he paused. He turned to me and said, 'Come Ye blessed of my Father or and inherit the kingdom I've prepared for you. For when I was hungry you gave me food, when I was thirsty you gave me drink, a stranger and you took me in.'

I felt as if we were on holy ground. 'Could you use another Bible?' I asked.

He said he preferred a certain translation. It traveled well and was not too heavy. It was also his personal favorite. 'I've read through it 14 times,' he said.

'I'm not sure we've got one of those, but let's stop by our church and see' I was able to find my new friend a Bible that would do well, and he seemed very grateful.

'Where are you headed from here?' I asked.

'Well, I found this little map on the back of this amusement park coupon.'

'Are you hoping to hire on there for awhile?'

'No, I just figure I should go there. I figure someone under that star right there needs a Bible, so that's where I'm going next.'

He smiled, and the warmth of his spirit radiated the sincerity of his mission. I drove him back to the town-square where we'd met two hours earlier, and as we drove, it started raining. We parked and unloaded his things.

'Would you sign my autograph book?' he asked. 'I like to keep messages from folks I meet.'

I wrote in his little book that his commitment to his calling had touched my life. I encouraged him to stay strong. And I left him with a verse of scripture from Jeremiah, 'I know the plans I have for you, declared the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you; Plans to give you a future and a hope.'

'Thanks , man,' he said. 'I know we just met and we're really just strangers, but I love you.'

'I know,' I said, 'I love you, too.' 'The Lord is good!'

'Yes, He is. How long has it been since someone hugged you?' I asked.

'A long time,' he replied

And so on the busy street corner in the drizzling rain, my new friend and I embraced, and I felt deep inside that I had been changed. He put his things on his back, smiled his winning smile and said, 'See you in the New Jerusalem.'

'I'll be there!' was my reply.

He began his journey again. He headed away with his sign dangling from his bedroll and pack of Bibles. He stopped, turned and said, 'When you see something that makes you think of me, will you pray for me?'

'You bet,' I shouted back, 'God bless.'

'God bless.' And that was the last I saw of him.

Late that evening as I left my office, the wind blew strong. The cold front had settled hard upon the town. I bundled up and hurried to my car. As I sat back and reached for the emergency brake, I saw them... a pair of well-worn brown work gloves neatly laid over the length of the handle.

I picked them up and thought of my friend and wondered if his hands would stay warm that night without them. Then I remembered his words: 'If you see something that makes you think of me, will you pray for me?'

Today his gloves lie on my desk in my office. They help me to see the world and its people in a new way, and they help me remember those two hours with my unique friend and to pray for his ministry. 'See you in the New Jerusalem,' he said. Yes, Daniel, I know I will...

If this story touched you, forward it to a friend!

'I shall pass this way but once. Therefore, any good that I can do or any kindness that I can show, let me do it now, for I shall not pass this way again.'

My instructions were to send this to four people that I wanted God to bless and I picked you. Please pass this to four people you want to be blessed.

This prayer is powerful and there is nothing attached. Please do not break this pattern. Prayer is one of the best gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue to pray for one another. God bless and have a nice day!

'Father, I ask you to bless my friends, relatives and e-mail buddies reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask you to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through your grace, In Jesus' precious Name Amen.'

4.09.2009

Putting your affairs in order

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said,
'I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and
you'd best put your affairs in order.'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself
and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been
waiting..

'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things
are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well.
In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So,
let's head to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little
less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They
were eventually approached by some of the woman's old
friends, who were curious as to what the two were
celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her
impending end, ' I've been diagnosed with
AIDS.'

The friends were aghast, gave the woman their
condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter
leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said
you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you
were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that??'

'Because I don't want any of those bitches
sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'

And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting
Your Affairs In Order.'

4.03.2009

Big Day

After a long 8 months of gradually getting my life together again me & the kids are moving into our own place this weekend. It's nothing to get excited about but we will finally be on our own & that part is exciting to us!

3.31.2009

Social Networking

I am attempting to wade thru all the social networking sites (OMG!!!) and determine which ones could drive more traffic to our main web site. I knew I'd missed a lot but I can't believe how many of these damn things are out there now... WTF???

3.21.2009

Computer Nerd is Back

It looks like I'm going to be wearing the computer nerd hat for a while again & I'm actually excited about it. Life is good - although change is all around me - life is definitely good & I'm glad that for once in a LONG time I have the ability to feel & enjoy life. It will take a minute to get caught up on all the latest & greatest technology there is so if you know of something cool that you don't think I should live without let me know!

1.28.2009

Workin' Hard

It's hard to believe I don't get on here any more than I do - considering I used to spend all day, every day on the computer at work. But now that I'm doing electrical work & my motherboard is fried it's hard to get online to check my email, much less update my blog & all the other online toys I used to play around with.

I'm working in Fulton, AR at the AEP power plant that is being built & the 10 hour days are killing me. Or maybe it's my age - either way - I can't run with the big dogs anymore.