Putting your affairs in order

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said,
'I've got some bad news. You have cancer, and
you'd best put your affairs in order.'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself
and walk into the waiting room where her daughter had been
waiting..

'Well, daughter, we women celebrate when things
are good, and we celebrate when things don't go so well.
In this case, things aren't well. I have cancer. So,
let's head to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little
less somber. There were some laughs and more martinis. They
were eventually approached by some of the woman's old
friends, who were curious as to what the two were
celebrating.

The woman told her friends they were drinking to her
impending end, ' I've been diagnosed with
AIDS.'

The friends were aghast, gave the woman their
condolences and beat a hasty retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter
leaned over and whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said
you were dying of cancer, and you just told your friends you
were dying of AIDS! Why did you do that??'

'Because I don't want any of those bitches
sleeping with your father after I'm gone.'

And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting
Your Affairs In Order.'