Two Thumbs Up

This was day five of my son being on meds for ADD and I have been home from work all week with him & he's still alive. LOL It's an extended release pill that he takes firs thing in the morning & it lasts 10-12 hours. I was very skeptical of putting him on any medication but after MUCH research into the pros & cons I must say that I am VERY happy so far. There are so many things that I didn't even realize were being affected. School is out for Christmas break & I wasn't sure whether I'd give them to him during the break or not, but I believe at this point it's a good thing.

He is able to complete simple things like putting away his toys without being reminded a dozen times and more tedious tasks like putting together models & other things that he would have given up on before. I am getting to be a part of his world now instead of feeling like I am constantly barking orders & wondering what the hell happened that I am not enjoying time with my son.

I've found some support & info sites online that I'll post for anyone interested as soon as I get my main computer back up & running. The wonderful electric company out here in the sticks can't seem to keep things up & running if the wind blows so after the power going on & off about a dozen times yesterday my hard drive announced its own death. This is only the 2nd one that has been fried so I guess this one is my fault for not having a battery backup. It will be the last time for not having the backup but at the moment I'm still pissed about it.

Back to the support & info - there are lots of little things I've learned about helping out to make life a little easier for anyone with ADD. So far we have gotten his room more organized & figured out specific places for things he needs daily like his backpack, shoes, etc. - things most of us take for granted but for him it's a constant battle. One of the biggest things I have learned, and realized, is how much of a toll it has taken on his self-esteem so we've been doing a lot of talking too. I'm sure there's much more for both of us to learn but I can finally see the light & I'm sure he can too. It's just the first week & I am so thankful to be getting to know my son it is truly unreal.

Enough rambling about Colton - Tana is having her first boy/girl party tomorrow night. She's titled it a Christmas party but I think it just boils down to wanting to have a party & it just happens to be Christmas. Jeff & I did our best to talk her into having it New Year's but she's mine so getting her to change her mind was a battle I chose not to fight. LOL Having it tomorrow night probably means less of a headache for me anyway.

She & I have gotten close during the past few months and I am really proud of her. God only knows how she has turned out as well as she has so far. The early years of Jeff & I being married were rough at best so I am surprised daily. That's not to say she won't drag us on the Jerry Springer or Oprah show later in life, but right now I am pretty impressed at how balanced she seems to be. She's doing well playing the clarinet in band, made the volleyball team, keeps her grades up, made the spelling bee team and just generally is a good kid. The teen years aren't here yet - but we can all hope.

Okay, enough rambling for now...it's getting late & I've gotten older so I gotta shut up & get some rest for the party tomorrow. LOL

Continuum

Music by John Mayer

I was fortunate enough to have the funds to go ahead and grab this album without having to wait until Christmas morning to give it to myself. (Lame? probably....Do I care? no....LOL) Some things never change.

Okay so there's a lot going on around me now - which is ironic as hell if you ask me because there isn't much of anything going on physically around me these days. Today I took flu meds and read Lessons in Becoming Myself until noon or better. I still have just enough fever to make things wierd and skewed - especially if you have tunes like John Mayer to listen to in the meantime.

My son started taking meds for ADD yesterday and today was his first day at school, so when he got home I was anxiously awaiting to hear whatever news of the day. Of course, I'm always looking for fireworks and Emmy nominations, etc. & we got the star in his folder which shows he behaved well for the day. LMAO

Expectations....they will kill you if you let them....

Okay, so I'm happy with the star but still looking through his backpack for the letter or something more. (Imagine that....me....still wanting more...)

I calm myself - with help from Jeff reminding me to stop acting like a maniac....I'm not acting. LOL Okay so there's no letter, we got the star and we've been hoping for that star for quite some time so we will be pleased with it.

Then out of nowhere my son tells me he's been invited to a Boy Scout Christmas Party at 6:30 and we MUST go. LOL See! There it is! Miracles do happen! I know it's humorous to anyone reading this crap but from here we had a miracle happening right in front of us.

Me (Mom) and Colton go to the Boy Scout Christmas Party and it was great. He was just another 8 year old boy doing crafts & playing & having a good time. And I was his Mom sitting there waiting for him to finish but taking in every second of watching my son FINALLY get to just be a kid & be a part of.

This was our 2nd day on Focalin XR & I am looking forward to all that may come our way. He's finally my son that's I've been waiting on all this time that diggs holes in the dirt & all the other boy stuff that doesn't make sense or have meaning until you have a son that can't slow down long enough in his mind to even try these things. Now, at this point in life, I had the opportunity to look outside & see him digging a hole with a shovel and just smile knowing he was enjoying it.

Before now I would have been trying to screw up the inevitable by asking my son (or anyone else's) what the reason is for digging the hole and if there isn't one they should stop.

Lessons in life are funny that way. Sometimes we just have to let them dig the damn hole.

Reading: Lessons in Becoming Myself

I started reading a new book about a week ago in attempt to slow down, if not stop, my latest self-destruct mode. In hopes of knowledge is power I am finally starting to recognize my own cycles in life and the fact that I am (once again) my own worst enemy. At any rate, the book I'm reading is Lessons in Becoming Myself by Ellen Burnstyn.

Who is Ellen Burnstyn?
Most would know her as Chris MacNeil in The Exorcist movie.

Why am I reading it?
About a week ago I had recorded several Oprah shows and decided on watching this particular one about Becoming Yourself. Oprah had several guests as well as clips from interviews from various people but Ellen's story hit home for me on many levels so buying the book was a must. I'm about half-way through reading it and I am extremely glad I made this particular purchase. It's just one more way that someone has touched my life and I hope to learn a little from her story. If nothing else, maybe to recognize my own cycles I tend to do to myself and someday at least slow down & give myself the opportunity to find some peace & happiness.

Daughters

I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left
Cleaning up the mess he made

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strong
And boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without the warmth from
A womans good, good heart

On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Lyrics of Daughters by John Mayer

Incubus - Make Yourself

I've been going thru old files on my computer here at work to get things cleaned up and ready for a new year - as well as to let my brain rest from the phone, email and constant rambling that the holiday shopping season brings about up here. While doing all this mindless file sorting and such I've ran across some old music that I haven't listened to in ages - one of them is Incubus - and one of my favorite albums of theirs is Make Yourself. You can read more about them, and listen to previews of their songs on Last.fm

Dear God

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read: "Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me? Sincerely, Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends. Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the> same old lady to God. All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read,

"Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must have been those bastards at the Post Office