American Red Cross Disaster Relief

At least 120,000 people have lost their lives in East Africa and South Asia in the aftermath of the earthquake and resulting tsunamis on December 26. Thousands of people in Sri Lanka, India, Thailand, and Indonesia are still missing; many others have lost their homes and livelihoods. Sri Lanka and Indonesia suffered the highest number of deaths, but India, East Africa, Seychelles, Maldives, and Thailand were all affected by the tsunami waves, which reached as high as 20 feet. Aid workers and volunteers are focused on stopping the spread of disease and delivering food and drinking water to survivors. The American Red Cross reports that emergency assessment and first-aid teams were on the ground quickly and are already working with local groups to support relief efforts. Your financial donation will help provide medicine, clothing, food, and shelter for victims of the East Africa and South Asia earthquake and tsunami disaster. One hundred percent of your donation will go to the American Red Cross. Thanks in advance for your participation during this critical time. The American Red Cross name is used with its permission. For more information about the American Red Cross, please call 1‑800 HELP NOW or e-mail info@usa.redcross.org.

Visit Amazon.com to help: http://www.amazon.com/paypage/PX3BEL97U9A4I

I Couldn't Resist...

My sick ass couldn't resist posting this one. LMAO http://albinoblacksheep.com/flash/stfu.php

Ray & Bessie

An elderly couple, Ray and Bessie, are "snowbirds" in Texas. Ray has always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots. Seeing some on sale one day, he buys them and wears them home, walking proudly. He saunters into the house and says to his wife, "Notice anything different about me?"

Bessie looks him over and says, "Nope."

Frustrated, Ray storms off into the bathroom, undresses, and walks back into the room, completely naked --- except for the boots. Again he asks, a little louder this time, "Notice anything DIFFERENT NOW?"

Bessie looks up and says, "Ray, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, and it'll be hanging down again tomorrow."

Furious, Ray yells, "AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, BESSIE?? IT'S HANGING DOWN BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!"

To which Bessie replies, "Shoulda bought a hat, Ray. Shoulda bought a hat."

Doing Time in the Service

One Sunday morning, the pastor noticed little Alex was staring up atthe large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names, and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.

The seven year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up, stood beside the little boy, and said quietly, "Good morning, Alex." "Good morning, Pastor," replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.

"Pastor, what is this?" "Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service."Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque. Little Alex's voice was barely audible, trembling with fear, when he asked, "Which service, the 9:30 or the 11:15?"

The Net Night Before Christmas

THE NET NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS by Hugh Drumm & Vincent Ambrose 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through theNet, There were hacker's a surfing. Nerds? Yeah, you bet. The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care, In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. The newbies were nestled all snug by their screens, While visions of Java danced in their dreams. My wife on the sofa and me with a snack, We just settled down at my rig (it's a Mac). When out in the Web there arose such a clatter, I jumped to the site to see what was the matter. To a new page my Mac flew like a flash, Then made a slight gurgle. It started to crash!! I gasped at the thought and started to grouse, Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse. When what to my wondering eyes should appear, My Mac jumped to a page that wasn't quite clear. When the image resolved, so bright and so quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick! More rapid than mainframes, more graphics they came, Then Nick glanced at my screen, my Mac called them byname; "Now Compaq! Now Acer!", my speaker did reel; "On Apple! On Gateway!" Santa started to squeal! "Jump onto the circuits! And into the chip! Now speed it up! Speed it up! Make this thing hip!" The screen gave a flicker, he was into my RAM, Then into my room rose a full hologram! He was dressed in all red, from his head to his shoes, Which were black (the white socks he really shouldlose). He pulled out some discs he had stored in his backpack. Santa looked like a dude who was rarin' to hack! His eyes, how they twinkled! His glasses, how techno! This ain't the same Santa that I used to know! With a wink of his eye and a nod of his head, Santa soon let me know I had nothing to dread. He spoke not a word, gave my Mac a quick poke, And accessed my C drive with only a stroke. He defragged my hard drive, and added a SIMM, Then threw in some cool games, just on a whim! He worked without noise, his fingers they flew! He distorted some pictures with Kai's Power Goo! He updated Office, Excel and Quicken, Then added a screensaver with a red clucking chicken! My eyes widened a bit, my mouth stood agape, As he added the latest version of Netscape. The drive gave a whirl, as if it were pleased, St. Nick coyly smiled, the computer appeased. Then placing his finger on the bridge of his nose, Santa turned into nothing but ones and zeros! He flew back into my screen and through my uplink, Back into the net with barely a blink. But I heard his sweet voice as he flew from my sight, "Happy surfing to all, and to all a good byte!"

Finally, we're safe

Tim Allen, comedian, had this to say about Martha Stewart: "Boy, I feel safer now that she's behind bars. O.J.& Kobe are walking around; Osama Bin Laden too, but they take the one woman in America willing to cook and clean and work in the yard and haul her ass to jail."

CFEclipse

This is a nerd post, so you might want to skip it. I've found a new program that's really got my curiousity peaked - it's a universal tool platform of sorts - an open extensible IDE for anything and nothing in particular. I've been trying it out for writing Cold Fusion code, and you can check it out at: http://www.eclipse.org/. If you download it, and you write Cold Fusion, be sure to get the CFEclipse plug-in. There are some really cool features and I must say that so far my fave is the code folding. Never heard of code folding? Me either until now, but it's pretty groovy for us nerd types. Anyway, gotta run and get some work done...

Long Live, the Virus is FINALLY Dead

After several days of battle, I've finally gotten rid of a virus on my PC at work. I wish someone would write a program that would make virus creators computers explode once they have sent out their wonderful creations. Let them spend hours and hours writing code, then when they expect to send it out to the masses in effort to control the world (or whatever the hell they get out of writing them?) - their computer explodes into tiny pieces. Anyway, if you've been battling your own virus - make sure you visit www.antivirus.com and do their free online scan. It won't save you from getting a virus, but I've used their free scan and virus encyclopedia countless times to remove viruses from dozens of PC's. Be sure to note the names and locations of all files it finds a problem with, then use their virus encyclopedia to research each one and completely remove it from your system. Until next time...